Money is that one subject that everyone dances around when dating. We politely try not to talk directly about it but it is woven into the fabric of our conversation. I say let’s throw it right out there onto the middle of the table, by the flowers, and address it shall we?
What are the two very first questions someone asks on a date? “What do you do?” and “Where do you live?” Which is the money talk equivalent of “How much money do you make and how much real estate can you afford?” Keeping your eye out for money problems will be the first sign of hidden people problems. Remember money problems have nothing to do with dollars and cents and everything to do with emotions and fears. Money habits are like holding up a mirror to someone’s bad internal behaviours. Knowing these on day one will help pick a proper love monkey.
When dating look for someone who respects their money and is in control of it. Not the other way around. It is the surest sign that they also respect themselves and are in control of their lives. Someone doesn’t necessarily have to make gobs and gobs of money. That isn’t what I’m saying but they should at least be strong in the following areas. It’ll reflect positively in how they will manage your relationship moving forward.
Money Balance – do they balance their cheque book? If they make more than they spend and always have money in the bank it shows that the person in mature and confident with themselves. They don’t need to blow every dollar they make each month. They live within their means and have money and personal life in balance.
Savers – do they save monthly or spend like drunken sailors? If they have money when the month runs out then that is a great sign. Your potential “Snookums” needs to have a “saver” mentality. It shows that they are responsible, grounded, committed, and planning for the long term.
Asset Lover – do they appreciate big assets? If your date has proven that they are interested in building assets over the long haul it speaks volumes that they are ambitious and driven. It shows that they want to increase their financial position and has thought out and implemented a plan to get it. If the asset is a home it shows that they are interested in “planting roots” which shows stability.
Debt Free – do they only have healthy debt? Does your date have baggage aka consumer debt? If your date is debt free it means that they don’t have the emotional baggage that comes with the debt. People overspend because they’re unhappy or trying to keep up with the Joneses and if they are free of credit card or personal debt then you know that they are self-assured. A lot of people who make tons of money spend tons more money. This race to always have the best and most of everything when they can’t afford it always leaves people coming last. And you deserve to come first.
Just after a few dates you’ll be able to tell if someone loves their money or not. By seeing some of these money problems up front it could be a window to other issues lurching behind the unpaid bill. If you know your date is cheque book balanced, is a saver, is a big asset lover and is bad debt free, you will hopefully save yourself some grief down the road.
Have a great week!